Paper Valley All Stars 229, MRD Team Unicorn 46 — The main event of a Paper Valley doubleheader turned out to be even a bigger blowout favoring Appleton than the undercard. PVRG’s Pissy Pistol and Chop Stick Ya cut through the Team Unicorn defense for a combined 20 grand slams. Pissy Pistol put up an jaw dropping 92 points; Chop Stick Ya an equally impressive 73 points. A force at B3 all night, Gynomite took PVRG’s final turn at jammer.
Stymied the entire bout, Madison’s Team Unicorn managed only nine leads in the 33-jam game. Rosetta Stoned led the Unicorns in scoring with 21 points. One bright spot for Madison was Stevie Knocks. The Ashwaubenon native garnered the lead and local cheers in her two turns at jammer for a total of ten points. — Geoffrey Saucer
Paper Valley Flyin’ Squirrels 239, Quad City Rollers 65 — Cyanide Ride had 64 points, and Amy Grindhouse added 63, including two 20 point jams in the second half, as the Paper Valley B-team, the Flyin’ Squirrels, cruised to a 239-65 final.
The legendary Pink Taco led the Quad City Rollers with 28 points. Despite the mismatch in experience and stamina, QCR were nevertheless game all night. A small-market league, QCR will take the lessons learned home to continue building a surprisingly vital eastern Iowa derby scene.