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PVRG Flyin’ Squirrels at Harbor City Roller Dames (Duluth, MN)

November 26th, 2010

Paper Valley Roller Girls’ Flyin’ Squirrels (132) at Harbor City Roller Dames (84)
The PVRG Squirrels team started off their travel season this year in a screaming lead against the Harbor City Roller Dames on November 13 in Duluth, MN. In front of a roaring crowd, PVRG’s Chop Stick Ya took off in the bout’s first jam, scoring 17 points while the PVRG defense held the opposing team’s jammer, Wright Around Ya to zero. While Wright Around Ya and Gypsy Roller did get some points on the board for HCRD, putting up a couple of sweet jams at 7 and 13 points, respectively, in the half, PVRG stayed consistent in their lead, showcasing Chop Stick Ya with another 14 point jam, Pissy Pistol with a 9 point jam, and strong, consistent lead jams from Kat Von Devious, Blazin’ Britches, and rookies Onya Assets and Skully Crossbones, closing out the the half with a 58-36 PVRG lead.

The second half of the bout was more decisive than the first. Pissy Pistol smashed the third jam wide open, with a 19 point jam, following soon after with a nine-pointer and then by Neva Sober’s 10 point jam. Wright Around Ya, of the Harbor City team, really skated her guts out, scoring 23 points in the last few minutes of the second half, but the consistent, level jams and blocking by the PVRG team drew that first half lead up and over, ending in a score of 132-84, Squirrels.

High point scorers this game were Pissy Pistol at 44 pts and Chop Stick Ya at 40 points, for the PVRG Flying Squirrels. At 48 points for the Harbor City Roller Dames, Right Around Ya was the game’s top scorer, and Gypsy Roller made 36 for the Duluth-Superior team. Clearly, both sides had great jammers, but strong blocking and depth on the jammer bench gave the PVRG Squirrels the advantage.

PVRG Flyin’ Squirrels vs Flint City/Skeetown Mix

April 15th, 2010

Flint City / Skeetown 127, PVRG Flyin’ Squirrels 125 — The finish of the undercard bout for Paper Valley’s narrow loss to Naptown’s Warning Belles also had fans on their feet and in a tizzy. The Paper Valley Flyin’ Squirrels found themselves trailing a mixed Flint City/Skeetown squad 127-110 as the last jam started. In a final sequence eerily reminiscent of the situation that unfolded a few weeks earlier in the Flyin’ Squirrels come-from-behind win at Rockford, the Flyin’ Squirrels saw an opportunity to snatch the victory when Flint’s Slapher Sally was sent to box on a track cutting major. Unopposed, Cyanide Ride scored 3 successive grand slams before time expired, but this comeback bid fell 2 points short as Flint went home with a 127-125 win.

The leading scorer for Flint was Lexi Pro with 43 points. Dot Matrix added 38. Quarterboy was a consistent force at pivot for Flint. Cyanide Ride paced the Flyin’ Squirrels with 56 points and Kat Von D-Vious added 32. — Todd A. Lathrop

PVRG All Stars vs Naptown’s Warning Belles

April 15th, 2010

NRG Warning Belles 125, Paper Valley 118 — With the score 122-99 for visiting Naptown B-team the Warning Belles and just about two minutes left on the clock, it seemed like the Warning Belles had victory in hand. But Paper Valley’s Chop StikYa scored a 12-3 power jam and called the jam just moments before the period clock expired to pull Paper Valley within striking distance.

After a lengthy zebra huddle, the evening’s final jam rolled off the line with .3 seconds on the clock and Naptown holding a 125-111 lead. Paper Valley’s Grin’ Reaper broke the pack first, but to the chagrin of the home faithful, without lead jammer status. Paper Valley’s blockers steadfastly contained Naptown’s Willa Hoeflinch as Grin’ Reaper scored one grand slam and entered the pack for her second pass looking for more. Moments later, Willa Hoeflinch slipped past the Paper Valley wall, earning lead in the process and sealing the 125-118 win for the Warning Belles with a touch of the hips.

Paper Valley had been up for most of the first half, but a 10-0 power jam for Naptown’s Jane Ire in the final jam of the first period trimmed Paper Valley’s half-time lead to 55-36. It was a sign of things to come. Naptown charged to the lead on the strength of several well executed 2nd period power jams. Paper Valley’s attempts to regain lost momentum were continuously thwarted by untimely and frequent trips to the box by their jammers.

Leading scorers for the Warning Belles were Willa Hoeflinch with 45 and a +26 differential. Jane Ire added 39 and Maiden America 26 points. Grin’ Reaper led Paper Valley’s scoring attack with 54 points and a +35 differential. Chop StikYa was Paper Valley’s workhorse, adding 53 for Paper Valley on 17 attempts.

Paper Valley’s next action is in Chicago versus the Chicago Outfit on 4/24. Naptown’s next action is 4/17 when they host the Ohio Rollergirls in an A/B doubleheader. — Todd A. Lathrop

PVRG Flyin’ Squirrels took on Rockford Rage March 27, 2010

March 28th, 2010

Paper Valley 141, Rockford 137 — Although Paper Valley Roller Girls Flyin’ Squirrels trailed host Rockford for a full 61 minutes, Amy Grindhouse’s third power jam pass a full minute after regulation time completed an improbable 141-137 comeback win for the visitors at Rockford’s Wedgbury Indoor Sports Center.

Paper Valley only managed 12 points in the game’s first 15 minutes, while Rockford scored on almost every jam, eventually building the lead to the night’s largest gap, 60-22. A 13 point jam from PVRG’s T-Racer and 12 more from Blazin’ Britches closed the score at halftime to 78-57, Rockford.

Rockford was plagued by penalties throughout the second half, but the hosts limited the damage while maintaining a 20-point lead. Jammer penalties on both sides resulted in four two-minute jams, and the half would have moved quickly if the penalty situation hadn’t warranted numerous official time outs.

A five-on-two power jam for Paper Valley at ten minutes to go brought them within one, 113-112. An illegal procedure major on PVRG’s Amy Grindhouse for not having her mouth guard in on the line resulted in a power jam for Rockford’s Barbie Got Back, who laid down 10 for a 133-115 cushion with just two and half minutes left.

Back-to-back Rockford jammer penalties followed, with Cyanide Ride scoring 11, and Amy Grindhouse benefitting from an eventual five-on-two advantage after regulation for three scoring passes, the last with just 20 seconds on the jam clock. Paper Valley ended the game with a 26-0 run, and led for the first and only time as Grindhouse called the jam, 141-137.

Blazin’ Britches led Paper Valley’s scoring with 45 points, while Cyanide Ride and Amy Grindhouse each had 33. Sinful Sally was top scorer for Rockford with 43 points, followed by Barbie Got Back with 38. — Geoffrey Saucer

Valentine’s Day Derby Date

February 15th, 2010

Paper Valley 170, MRD Quad Squad 92 — Paper Valley’s All Stars trounced Madison’s Team Unicorn in Appleton last weekend. They did the same with one of the Mad Rollin’ Dolls’ local teams, the Quad Squad, in an unsanctioned interleague bout.

After falling behind 19-0, the Quads at least kept it close until PVRG’s Cyanide Ride laid down a 14-0 jam for a 72-41 lead. Pissy Pistol bracketed half time with 26 points, and PVRG maintained a 60 point margin for most of the second half.

The Quad Squad beat Paper Valley last spring, but a year of team work demonstrates that Paper Valley possesses some serious talent. Top of that list is Pissy Pistol, who followed last week’s 92 points with 72 this time around. PVRG’s pack put up a solid three-skater defensive front, and held the Quads to just five points during back-to-back PVRG jammer penalties.

Thunder Kitten had 38 points for the Quad Squad, and rookie Aleta the Hon 28.

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February 7th, 2010

Paper Valley All Stars 229, MRD Team Unicorn 46 — The main event of a Paper Valley doubleheader turned out to be even a bigger blowout favoring Appleton than the undercard. PVRG’s Pissy Pistol and Chop Stick Ya cut through the Team Unicorn defense for a combined 20 grand slams. Pissy Pistol put up an jaw dropping 92 points; Chop Stick Ya an equally impressive 73 points. A force at B3 all night, Gynomite took PVRG’s final turn at jammer.

Stymied the entire bout, Madison’s Team Unicorn managed only nine leads in the 33-jam game. Rosetta Stoned led the Unicorns in scoring with 21 points. One bright spot for Madison was Stevie Knocks. The Ashwaubenon native garnered the lead and local cheers in her two turns at jammer for a total of ten points. — Geoffrey Saucer

Paper Valley Flyin’ Squirrels 239, Quad City Rollers 65 — Cyanide Ride had 64 points, and Amy Grindhouse added 63, including two 20 point jams in the second half, as the Paper Valley B-team, the Flyin’ Squirrels, cruised to a 239-65 final.

The legendary Pink Taco led the Quad City Rollers with 28 points. Despite the mismatch in experience and stamina, QCR were nevertheless game all night. A small-market league, QCR will take the lessons learned home to continue building a surprisingly vital eastern Iowa derby scene.

Paper Valley Rolls to Sweep

December 5th, 2009

Appleton, WI – WFTDA Apprentice leagues Killamazoo Derby Darlins and the Paper Valley Roller Girls squared off December 5, 2009 at Skater’s Edge in Appleton, WI. After witnessing the Paper Valley Roller Girls (PVRG) dismiss the last two teams that visited Appleton by a combined 525-64 score, fans of PVRG settled in anticipating a closely contested bout. The fact that only 7 months earlier, Paper Valley narrowly escaped with a 16 point win (Killamazoo had chipped the lead to as few as 3 in the second period) only fueled the anticipation. Fans of the home team left with mixed emotions as they got to witness a dominating performance by the home team, but didn’t get the nail bitter they expected. Paper Valley sped to an early lead and never relinquished control, racing to a 220-39 win.

Period 1 – By the time each of PVRG’s primary jammer rotation had toed the line, PVRG had built a 38-4 lead. The 4th jam began with Chop Stikya serving time for a major penalty and KDD smelling an opportunity for a high scoring jam. The PVRG defense held, however, as they limited Kiki Urahz to 6 points while Chop tallied 4 of her own after being released from the box. That was the last point margin “win” for KDD until Lily St. Smear outscored PVRG’s Pissy Pistol 11-7 in a jam that saw Pissy Pistol earn lead only to be sent out on a major infraction in the bout’s 10th jam. Any momentum KDD had gained was squashed in the ensuing jams as PVRG shut out KDD on the next 6 jams. At the break, PVRG led 110-30.

Period 2 – To claw back into contention, KDD knew they needed to put some points on the scoreboard early in the second period. The PVRG defense just didn’t let it happen as they opened the 2nd period by allowing only 1 point to be scored over the first 15 jams.

Undoubtedly, the teams are more evenly matched than the final tally suggested. In typical derby fashion, untimely penalties had a significant impact on the bout. Neither team was immune to spending time in the penalty box, but it was Killamazoo who was especially saddled by penalty woes. For Killamazoo, Terrorhawk put on an impressive display of speed and agility and made her presence known as a jammer and as a blocker. As always, Javelin dished out plenty of hard hits. Fans were pleased to see KDD’s Noah Stompski in action again (she had suffered a leg injury in the first meeting between the teams). For PVRG, Grin Reaper led PVRG with 66 points in 8 jams, earning lead on 4 of 8 jams. Pissy Pistol and Chop StikYa added 60 points on 11 jams and 58 points on 11 jams, respectively. Msjf chipped in 22 in 4 jams as she skated her final bout with PVRG. On a night when the PVRG defense shined, it seems fitting to acknowledge the PVRG skaters who played predominately or exclusively in the trenches. PVRG’s dedicated group of blockers included Faye Talblow, Neva, Amanda Spank, Eye Drop Her, Ginger Gunns, Gynomite, Snap CrakYa Pop, Sugar Babies and Beck Off. For KDD, Lady Hawk and Lily St. Smear led KDD in scoring.

In the evenings opening contest, Paper Valley’s Flyin’ Squirrels bested the Old Capital City Roller Girls (OCCRG) of Iowa City, IA by a final tally of 169 to 105. In a bout that featured several swings of momentum, it was the Flyin’ Squirrel attack led by Cyanide Ride’s 77 points that scored often enough to turn back the squad from Iowa.

In the first period, the Flyin’ Squirrels rode the strength of a couple of high point jams as Cyanide Ride, Msjf and Amy Grindhouse each tallied a double digit jam. It was a strong opening jam by Ophelia Fracture and a monsterous 17 point outburst by Gladi8her that kept things tight. At the break, the Flyin’ Squirrels led 76-57.

To open the second period, Cyanide Ride and Msjf combined to add another 20 points to the lead, and it appeared the Flyin’ Squirrels might cruise to victory. But OCCRG kept things within reach by regularly matching the scoring of the Squirrels or taking small point margin wins. But, any hopes OCCRG entertained of a come-from-behind win were dashed when Cyanide Ride scored a 17-4 jam against Ophelia Fracture.

For OCCRG, Ophelia Fracture carried the scoring load scoring 40 points on 14 jams while Gladi8her added 29 more on 11 jams. Bat R Up and V-Train were dominant in the pack at times for OCCRG. For the Flyin’ Squirrels, Msjf added 33 points on 6 jams, while Flyin’ Squirrel captain, Amy Grindhouse, contributed 29 points on 10 jams. Kat Von D-Vious added 27 points on only 5 jams. “Protecting their nuts” (i.e playing frequently in the pack) were Dizzy Grrl Espy, Kat Von D-vious, Amanda Spank, LOOSE ifur HOOKER, Blarney Stonya, Trauma Hawk, Cyanide Ride, Lola Fal Lon Ya and Busta B. Otch. The Flyin’ Squirrels combated the physical style of OCCRG’s pack with coordinated pack control, often using OCCRG’s speed against them by slowing the pack behind their “last line of defense”, leaving their pivot/blocker out of play and helpless against the PVRG jammers.

The Paper Valley Roller Girls kick off the new year when the All-Stars host the Brewcity Battlestars of Milwaukee, WI and the Flyin’ Squirrels host the Glass City Rollers of Toldeo, OH on January 9, 2010. A special “merby” (men’s derby) exhibition by Minnesota’s Twin City Terrors will take place during intermission. Killamazoo takes a break from action before returning to the track later in 2010. A Paper Valley vs. Killamazoo re-match is scheduled for May 1st, 2010 in Kalamazoo, MI.

November 14- 2009 PVRG Teams Sweep Home Opener

November 20th, 2009

Derby PosterThe Paper Valley Roller Girls hosted the first of a series of five home doubleheaders at Skater’s Edge in Appleton, WI.  The evenings first bout featured the PVRG Flyin’ Squirrels versus the Sioux City Roller Dames.  The second bout featured the PVRG All-Stars versus G-Rap Attack! of Grand Rapids, MI.

The Flyin’ Squirrels took to the track sporting sharp new uniforms and a fresh new logo courtesy of Bob Noxious.  With Bob looking on, microphone in hand, the Flyin’ Squirrels took to the track.  For five Flyin’ Squirrels this bout represented their first opportunity to show off their derby skills in front of friends and family for the first time.  They didn’t disappoint, as they rolled to 146-82 victory.

Rookie jammers Msjf and Kat Von D-vious added depth and scoring punch to the Squirrels jammer rotation.  Sophomore jammer, Cyanide Ride, impressed by flashing fancy footwork and speed.  Cyanide led all scorers with 66 points and earned lead on 8 of 11 attempts.  Flyin’ Squirrels captain, Amy Grindhouse, was a model of consistency adding 41 points of her own.  Credit has to be given to the Flyin’ Squirrel blockers, for opening holes for their jammers and for building and recycling their defensive walls.  For Sioux City, Roxy R Soxoff and Sum Mo Payne led SCRD with 34 and 19 points respectively.  Funsize proved to be a crowd favorite, and proved that big things can come in small packages.

The second bout featured a rematch between teams that hooked up for 88-69 thriller in Grand Rapids nearly one year prior.  In that bout, PVRG trailed at the break, but came from behind to notch the win.  In the rematch, the PVRG All-Stars made it clear that they were not interested in relying on a second period turn-a-bout this time around.  PVRG exploded for high point jams early, even eschewing their normal “point prevention” style in the night’s first jam in favor of a offensive shoot out.  The PVRG defense was up to the task as well.  After surrendering 8 points in the evening’s first jam, PVRG shut out G-Rap Attack in the next 8 jams on their way to a comfortable 156-15 lead at the break.  G-Rap used the intermission to plot a strategy to slow the PVRG offense.  While their second half defense was stingy, especially in the back of the pack, the lead was too much to overcome.  PVRG cruised to a 240-54 win.

PVRG blockers controlled the pack, as evidenced by the fact that PVRG jammers earned lead on 73% of the jams.  PVRG expanded their jammer rotation as the bout continued, resulting in 8 different jammers tallying for PVRG.  Pissy Pistol led PVRG with 87 points in 9 attempts and Chop Stikya with 82 points in 10 attempts.  Keisha Mei Ash carried the jamming load for the visitors, toeing the line 12 times and scoring 21 points.  Lucy Morals was G-Rap’s most efficient jammer, scoring 23 points on only 5 attempts.

September 26, 2009 Flyin’ Squirrels Unblemished Record Slides Away

September 26th, 2009

PVRG’s Flyin’ Squirrels took on the Cedar Rapids Rollergirls on September 26, 2009 in Cedar Rapids, IA.  The Flyin’ Squirrels found a Cedar Rapids squad awaiting them that was much improved over the one that visited WI months earlier.  The U.S. Cellular Center, an impressive roller derby venue with rabid fans, rocked as the bout got underway.  While Flyin’ Squirrels blockers and jammers slid around the arena’s polished concrete track, Cedar Rapids methodically, forcefully and consistently sought the inside path.  Hopes of victory slowly slid away for the Flyin’ Squirrels (as did the Flyin’ Squirrels skaters who attempted to navigate the outside) as the jams clicked away.  To the delight of the home crowd, Cedar Rapids prevailed by a final tally of 116-42.

The PVRG Flyin’ Squirrels will make the ’09/’10 home debut on November 14th against the Sioux City Roller Dames of Sioux City, IA.

PVRG Takes Home 2nd at Rollin’ Along the River Tournament
Sioux City, IA

The PVRG All-Stars kicked off their ’09/’10 campaign much the same way as the PVRG Flyin’ Squirrels had – by loading in vans and traveling to Iowa.  In their tournament debut, PVRG outlasted hosting Sioux City in a Saturday morning match-up at the Long Lines Rec Center.  Later, PVRG disposed of Rage City (Anchorage, AK) to set up a Saturday night date with WFTDA NC region power, the North Star Supernovas (ranked #23 nationally by DNN).  Saturday’s showcase featured a fast pack and plenty of hard hits.  It was North Star that controlled the pack and displayed polished execution as PVRG jammers continually found themselves saddled behind a green wall at the front of the pack.  North Star sent PVRG back to the loser bracket with a 0-145 loss.  Sunday morning brought a re-match with Rage City, with the opportunity to advance to play North Star again.  PVRG again raced past Rage City on the strength of several high point jams (125-61) to set up a re-match with the “big green monster”.  PVRG succeeded at playing a slower game on Sunday, countering NSRG’s front dominance with a wall of red at the back.  It was commonly the NSRG jammer that escaped first, however, leading to familiar scenario – a PVRG jammer stuck behind a wall of green.  PVRG was much more competitive, especially early, before the effects of having played 4 previous bouts began to show.  The sparse, but loyal, crowd roared approval each time PVRG earned lead or scored – a compliment to NSRG that indicates just how stingy their defense had been at relinquishing either.  In the eyes of the PVRG skaters, the 19-139 didn’t fully represent how much more competitive PVRG was in the second meeting.  In all, PVRG considered their 2nd place finish a success.

PVRG has a month to recover and contemplate the lessons learned.  The PVRG All-Stars return to action November 14, when they host G-Rap Attack! from Grand Rapids, MI.

Paper Valley Teams Sweep Home Finale

June 8th, 2009

The Paper Valley Roller Girls (PVRG ) hosted a Derby Disco themed double header at Skaters Edge in Grand Chute, WI on May 9, 2009.  The first bout pitted the PVRG Flyin’ Squirrels against the Mississippi Valley Mayhem (LaCrosse, WI).  The second bout pitted the PVRG All-Stars against the Cedar Rapids Roller Girls (Cedar Rapids, IA).  Both home squads scored large point jams early in their respective contests that proved insurmountable for the visitors.  The Flyin’ Squirrels prevailed 261-53, while the All-Stars triumphed 285-10.

The first bout saw the newly formed Flyin’ Squirrels playing together publicly for just the second time, and for their first time in front of the home crowd.  They surely didn’t disappoint!  The Flyin’ Squirrels scored early and often, riding multiple high point jams to a 114-36 lead at the break.  The second period included more of the same, with Major Chaos closing out the Flyin’ Squirrel scoring by scoring 17 points in her jamming debut.  Leading scorers for the Flyin’ Squirrels were Cyanide Ride with 111, Blazin’ Britches with 64, Eye DropHer with 41 and Amy Grindhouse with 28. Mississippi Valley exhibited balanced scoring, with 8 different players scratching the scoring column.  Considering this was the first public bout for Mississippi Valley Mayhem (MVM), the MVM players showed plenty of promise.

The second bout mirrored the first, with the All-Stars sprinting to a quick lead.  PVRG jammers used their speed and agility (coupled with timely offensive blocking) to navigate the packs with relative ease, while the PVRG defense proved stifling.  At the break, the PVRG defense had held the Cedar Rapids offense to a mere 4 points after thirty minutes of play.  The offensive difficulties for Cedar Rapids were compounded by the fact that they frequently were short in the pack or without a jammer as a result of penalties.  PVRG ’s offensive onslaught slowed in the second period, but the defense remained stout, surrendering only 6 points.  PVRG ’s control of pack play was evidenced by picking up lead jammer status in 31 of 39 jams.  Pissy Pistol led all scorers with 75 points.  Grin Reaper added 60 and Chop StikYa added 50 more for PVRG .  AJ Renegade, MaryJane Mustang, Ali Assassinateher and Krussia Bonez contributed to the Cedar Rapids scoring.

The largest cheer of the night came when PVRG pivot, Ginger Gunns, made her first appearance of the year at the jammer line.  It took a moment for her faithful fan club to realize what was about to happen, but when they did, they roared approval.  Dedicated blocker Neva Soba also took the star on a few occasions, and with her tongue sticking out and arm waving (as only Neva does), it was quite apparent she enjoyed doing so.  Although no strangers to wearing the star, Snap CrakYa Pop and Gynomite also gave up their preferred positions in the pack in favor of a turn as jammer.

“Ironwoman” awards go to Eda Beaver, Blazin’ Britches, Major Chaos, Cyanide Ride, Eye DropHer and Amy Grindhouse.  Each pulled double duty, swapping their red Flyin’ Squirrels jersey in favor of the black of the All-Stars between bouts.

Paper Valley skaters take a few months off to heal bruises and broken bones before returning to action.  The Flyin’ Squirrels next bout is against the Cedar Rapids Roller Girls at U.S. Cellular Arena in Cedar Rapids, IA on September 26.  The All-Stars return to action October 10/11 when they participate in the Rolling Along the River Tournament hosted by the Sioux City Roller Girls.  The full slate of participating teams have yet to be released.  The North Star Roller Girls Super Novas (Minneapolis, MN) are the defending tournament champions.